Ramblings of an Old Kweer

 
   This was the second of two fics that I wrote the other night; but has grown from an attempted drabble, into a triple. It wanted to be short, but not as short as I originally thought it to be.

 

   TITLE: Forged Identities

   AUTHOR: kerkevik_2014 / kerkevik_2014 

   FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

   CHARACTERS: Faith Lehane; Xander Harris;

   LENGTH: 300,

   SUMMARY: How do the characters we know and love continue to deal with the losses; gains and changes in their lives.

   A/N: This is set in the femalehusband!verse; where Willow is dead, Kennedy never knew her and Faith and Tara are, at this point in the timeline, now married and parents. They did put the cart before the horse, but I've always believed the horse should have the freedom to decide to what, or whom, it should be tethered. I've also borrowed a character from the comics; only mentioned here, but I liked her, and here she is very much alive. There is also a character mentioned here that jetwolf created for her Series8 continuation www.btvschosen.com/, which sadly seems to have died as a result of the much-to-be-cursEd Joss Whedon fanfiction which are the current comics (I love Satsu & Renee though).

   The definition of Forged in the title comes from these meanings en.oxforddictionaries.com/thesaurus/forge, as in the the fire that forges steel; mythical rings etc...

 

     X-man was waiting outside Buffy's office when she dropped off her report.

 

   “Why do you even patrol?”
   He watched her from the door; thought about telling him where to go, but he didn't wait for her.

 

   “You have a family now,” and she followed his gaze to the new framed photo above her desk; her, Tara and the baby the day she'd given birth. Faith felt an unfamiliar sensation at that.

   Heart tightening, she pushed past him and strode down the corridor to the coffee machine in the Commissary.

   He followed.

   Of course he did; man had he cornered, morally, having helped her deliver her child... and because of what she'd nearly done to him. He could be like a dog with a bone about things like that.

   Chrissie had also had a crush on him when she'd first arrived; never become a lover, like Renee; mostly because the X-Man always remembered when she was twelve.

   How could she explain to him that she needed to kill the demons herself; before Kennedy got here. Not that anyone would blame her, but Kenn had responsibilities that didn't allow for personal revenge.

   She would always be a Slayer even so, and Chrissie had been one of her first trainees; only her being thirteen had mitigated against her following Kenn to London all those years ago. She'd done Kennedy proud though; buying her own trainees the time they needed to escape.

   He watched her preparing two cups of coffee; grunted and went off to make his trademark; near-as-fuck Fenway Dogs he'd created for her thirtieth birthday.

   Watching the coffee dripping she wondered how to explain, so he'd understand.

   Then something Buffy had told her many years ago came to mind; back before the Great Sundering, which had nearly killed them both.

 

   “It's who I am,” she told him when he returned.
   They dined in silence.

 

      Goddess preserve us in these dark times,

 

      

 

      Kerk(evik) TehKek Hiraeth

 

 

 

 
   Dear elisi I've been forgetting to tag you; consider me chastened. In my defence I should have been sleeping,  but I',m worried about a friend whose being forced to choose between her cats and losing her council flat. She's choosing her cats of course, but she really needs the
stress right now. Trying to help, but very little I can do practically.

   Anyway, here's number four of those seven I mentioned before (three others pencilled in to my notebook).

   More to come.  

 

   TITLE: Slayer's Soul; Next Level Unlocked 

   AUTHOR: kerkevik_2014

   FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

   CHARACTERS: Tara; Faith;

   LENGTH: 100,

   SUMMARY: Who told Faith about Dawn? Certainly not the Watcher's Council, and who wanted to visit Faith out of the Scoobies. Maybe someone who's concerns are more about a person than the past.

   A/N: This was the one that made this series part of the femalehusband!verse; also the fourth drabble to be written. I think I may be trying too hard to make all these drabbles; there are a couple of stories that are giving me trouble, but I have ideas (for fics not of this series as well) about those.

 

     “Fuck.”

   Tara wished she gambled for a moment.

   Faith sat down again, “How?”

   Then... “Why?”

   Followed after seeing Tara's raised eyebrow, “Well yeah, I guess... but I'm still the Slayer?”

   Tara caught the question; knew the self-doubt.

   “We don't know... Buffy isn't The Slayer, but... “

   “She is.”

   “Yeah, “ Tara answered, even though Faith just seemed to be thinking aloud; probably wondering about things that hadn't happened.

   She'd been there.

   Keeping her eyes on Faith, Tara's thoughts drifted; her worries over Willow; Dawn, and there was Lisa now too.

   Faith's next question said more about her than she intended.

   “Is she safe?”

 

     Goddess watch over us all, 


     

 

     Kerk(evik) TehKek Hiraeth

 

 

 

 
  

  Another in the series of Lisa/Dawn oriented fics; all drabbles thus far dedicated as a birthday present for elisi.This one is set during S6; though I'm not certain whether this is before, or after, Willow's death; not that it matters, as Buffy is busy at the Doublemeat Palace, and Tara is 'babysister-sitting' (could be said to be vamp-sitting as well of course). 
 

  TITLE: Shadows of a Mothers Love

  AUTHOR: kerkevik_2014

  FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

  CHARACTERS: Tara Maclay; Dawn Summers; Spike;

  LENGTH: 100,

  SUMMARY: Love'em or hate'em, or never met'em; your parents are always watching you.

  A/N: Another Tara the surrogate mom fic; dedicated to  beer_good_foamy since he likes'em...

 

 

     Tara kept her eye on Dawn and Spike as they played; unconcerned since he hadn't yet realised he wasn't letting her win at poker anymore.

   Least it wasn't kittens.

   And as long as Buffy never found out.

   She was more thoughtful of Lisa and what was developing between her and Dawn.

   Words needed to be had.

   But with whom.

   She closed her eyes; thoughts drifting to the only words of her mother's she'd ever seen.

   “I can't protect you, Tare-bear, but I'll always be watching over you. Believe that.”

   “Bollocks!”

   Repressing a grin, Tara opened a disapproving eye... and frowned.

 

 

     Goddess watch over us all,

 

     

 

     Kerk(evik) TehKek Hiraeth

 

 

 
  This was my first seriously written fanfic for something like 15 - 20 years; that was worth anything.  There was an extremely long story that was clearly going nowhere; especially with the tendency of most people not to offer feedback (guilty of that myself a lot these days; mostly because I rarely read fanfics these days); as well as another fic that really needs to be radically re-written, and is quite obviously full of the rage I was feeling at Tara's death at the time. 
  This was also written back in the days when I still believed that WillTara was the only pairing for either character; before I started seeing beyond the romantic film that filled my vision at the time. 
  I still love it though; it was the first story I ever wrote that somebody messaged me and asked if they could archive it. Don't think people do that these days, sadly. I can tell you that after that I walked around for days with an expression not unlike I imagine Willow wearing the morning after 'Hush'. 

  TITLE: The Dance of the Happy Little Toaster
  AUTHOR: kerkevik_2014 
  FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (S4)
  CHARACTERS: Willow Rosenberg; Tara Maclay;
  'SHIP: WillTara;
  LENGTH: 2000,
  RATING: 15 (for sexual references & language)
  SUMMARY: It's the morning after 'New Moon Rising' (BtVS S04 E19); Willow wakes up in the arms of Tara.
  A/N: 1) I have decided to rate these, at least on my own journal, using the UK film ratings system as this seems much more sensible to me than the experientially homophobic and misogynistic MPAA ratings – others may disagree, and I shall adapt them where they are cross-posted to fic journals with different systems. Naturally there will be border disputes for which I shall defer to the lj's concerned; unless I feel the rating there unjustified.
          2)There are references to a song by The Beatles; the 'Puppy' episode of Ellen DeGeneres' eponymously titles sitcom; a movie that, at the time I wrote this, I had not scene that was referenced in the S3 episode, 'Something Blue', and gave me the title, and finally the last line is shamelessly stolen from what I recall as the very first Lesbian movie I ever saw (not sure of the factual nature of that), but the line has definitely stuck with ever since, called 'Lianna'.
          (nb.) shortly after I first posted this story, I think, on the now defunct (with much regret on my part for the loss of so much fan history; poetry; fics and comments) willtara yahoo group, which led to it being included on the largely moribund sites at http://mysticmuse.net/authors/rayharley/danceofthehappylittletoaster.htm & http://nha.magical-worlds.us/viewstory.php?sid=3435 – it's also posted at http://www.ralst.com/DanceHappyLittleToaster.HTM (if you have seen it elsewhere, please let me know and I will be delighted to include the links), I actually got to see 'The Brave Little Toaster' at a Dundee cinema, and rather enjoyed it.
         So thank you very much to whoever got that line into the script for 'Something Blue'.
         Also there was a reading on a web/radio/podcast site that, as I recall, was principally devoted to what they called 'wiffy'; then the name for Willow/Buffy shippers; though I never got the chance to hear it, and can no longer find anyone involved with the site who may have access to a recording I can download or listen to. If you have any information that could help I should be most appreciative.

   Willow stirred from her slumber just as false dawn was creeping into the room. She opened her eyes carefully, not totally aware of where she was... until her nudity hit her.

   She was naked! In Tara's bed!

   The sudden enormity of her situation made her giggle, albeit quietly.

 
 “Wow!”

   She gasped, hushing herself instantly.

   And it had been wow!

   They'd been intimate before; they'd been (half) naked before, but it had been nothing more than high-class, chocolate-frosted, necking.

   Last night had been an entirely different matter.

   Low-class, chocolate honey-filled, high-caffeine... lust-lovin'.

   Wow!

   She glanced at the sleeping face of her lover...

   Her lover. Tara was her lover.

   Trying not to laugh out loud Willow wondered if she was now an official lesbian, if Tara would get an official Ellen, 'I turned a straight girl' toaster.

   She giggled once more, then smirked as she noticed the tiniest hint of drool on Tara's cheek. If she hadn't been so frightened of waking her up she would have kissed it away.

   Wow.

 
   Then, stroking hair away from Tara's face, she dared to kiss her anyway.

   Ever so slightly; ever so carefully; ever so daintily, on the forehead.

   Closing her eyes she breathed in the still sweaty scent of her lover.

   Her lover. Tara was her lover.

   Wow.

   It was an established fact now. No going back.

   She snorted as she fought back a laugh. Hell, she wanted to shout. To cry out. She was too happy. She contented herself with another gentle kiss, this time on her lover's cheek, then held her breath as Tara stirred slightly.

   For several minutes then, she took in the sight of Tara breathing... in, out, deep in sleep. O goddess, but she was beautiful.

   Her lover. Tara was her lover.

   “She loves you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

   She was drunk. She wanted to tell the world. She felt like dancing, and singing. Instead she had to content herself with continuing to watch Tara sleeping. For over half an hour she simply watched Tara breathing, occasionally gifting herself the slightest, most delicate of kisses. On the cheek; on the forehead once, daringly, on the lips. She even stroked Tara's shoulder at one point.

   Finally she felt compelled to action. She could no longer keep her hands off her lover.

   Her lover, she repeated yet again.

   “Tara Maclay is my lover,” she whispered, breaking into a grin wider than the Grand Canyon.

   Was it possible to be too happy?

   Nuh-uh!

   Feeling compelled to laugh... to cry... to shout... to sing, Willow couldn't even begin to decide which impulse was the strongest. And she knew she couldn't bear to disturb the peaceful rest Tara was enjoying.

   She wondered if Tara was dreaming about her.

   Finally Willow carefully disengaged herself from the bedclothes; clambering, reluctantly, free of Tara's arm. Picking up a discarded; oversized t-shirt she grasped her overnight bathroon bag and, with one last look at Tara's peaceful features, she opened the door and slowly meandered down the hall to the showers.

 
    There, despite the early hour, she showered.

   Slowly, langorously, she ran her fingers over her body; touched her lips, brushed her nipples and stroked her belly, teased herself; hissing at just how ready she was, between her legs... everywhere, in fact, Tara had touched her the night before.

   Not bothering with a towel she stepped dripping from the shower and went to stand in front of one of the long mirrors. She placed a finger on her tongue and tasted it, just to see if it felt any different. She finally let out the long-suppressed laughter.

   It tasted like it had recently been in a shower.

   She was almost disappointed.

   For several minutes Willow stared at the face she saw in the mirror, studying the inanely stupid grin on the face of a woman she hardly recognised.

   Yet seemed to know for the first time.

   She seemed to be glowing. Was she glowing? Willow laughed again. Of course she was glowing! She was fresh from the shower.

   Fresh from her lover. Her lover Tara Maclay.

   She repeated it out loud and laughing, brushed wet hair from her face.

   Then she stared defiantly at the face in the mirror and declared...

   “Willow Rosenberg eats pussy!”

 

  Goddess watch over us all, 

  

  Kerk(evik) TehKek Hiraeth 

  

 

 

  TITLE: Like Seeing Your Very Own Self Looking Back At You

  AUTHOR: kerkevik_2014

  FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer; S5,

  CHARACTERS: Tara; Lisa,

  WORD COUNT: 200,

  A/N: This is set not long after The Body; Dawn has not yet returned to school. The earliest Dawn/Lisa fic I wrote, which could; as can this, be set in any of the separate 'verses where I have them as a pairing, was written as taking place on Dawn's first day back at school. Here Lisa is part of a tour looking around UC Sunnydale, and sees Tara in the Library studying.

 

 

 

     “Miss Maclay?”

 

     Glancing up, Tara saw a slightly nervous looking african-american girl that she recognised from having met Dawn at her school a couple of times.

 

     “Tara.”

 

     “My name is Lisa,” she looked miffed, a little confused too; or thought Tara was confused.

 

     She ducked her head; trying not to smile too much. After a few moments of collection she looked up and nodded, “I know,” adding, “My name is Tara, not Miss Maclay.”

 

     Lisa tried to smile, making Tara respond; gesturing for Lisa to sit across the UCSD Library table from her, while asking,”What's wrong?”

 

     Uncertainly sitting down; only really after Tara confirmed it was ok for her, a High School student to be sitting here, Lisa asked, following another short spell of nervousness, “I was wondering how Dawn was; she... didn't answer my messages.”

 

     “She's been very upset about her mother's death; they both ~ we all are actually. We're all trying to be there for Dawn and Buffy; without...”

 

     “Being there?” Tara nodded. Lisa finally seemed to relax a little; Tara watched her, and fought the tendency to have her mouth twitch into that smile that Will seemed to love so much. 

 

     Dawn had an admirer it seemed.

 

 

 

Goddess watch over us all,

Kerk TehKek

 

 

  Still can't get the formatting to work on DW, so that will have to wait to be edited in when I get a new laptop (whenever *sighs* that is) but in the meantime this is the original version, with two corrections I didn't have the confidence to make at the time. 
  It was written sometime in the autumn of 2002, probably two, or three, months after "Seeing Red" aired in the UK. There are links to the various places it has been seen on the web before. 
  (It is also to be noted that a btvs, which I believe was willow/buffy; or wuffy (wiffy?) slanted, online fan radio show did a podcast reading of this fic which I never did get to hear. If anyone has a recording of that please, please let me have a copy!) 
  It was not the first story I completed after "Seeing Red" aired, but it was the first I feel happy with now. I'll go into why at another time, when I have re-written that other story; which will then be posted with the original fic for comparison, though that leaves a nasty taste in my mouth now. 
  To me now, though I am still pleased with it, this seems a little naive with none of the writing ability I think I had shown many years before when I had written not just Blake's 7 fanfic, but original stories set in a world from which I took my online name. 
  I really want to beta this, if that is a proper term for doing that myself. Whatever I shall do so as I cannot but see changes I would make now, that I was in too much of a rush to see back then. I cannot now be certain how much time had passed between the shock of "Seeing Red" kick-started me into writing again, and when I had last written anything meaningful, but it was almost certainly longer in passage than that which has occurred between first posting this on the now sadly-deceased willtara yahoo mailing list and when I started posting new fics on livejournal. 
  Not that I didn't write anything in that time; just that it offered no joy and has thus been forgotten. 

  As stated the lack of my usual titling style will be corrected as soon as a better computer can be purchased. These are also different here than in any of the original posting sites. 

   TITLE: The Dance of the Happy Little Toaster 
   AUTHOR: kerkevik_2014 
   RATING: PG-15 (for some adult themes) 
   FANDOM: BtVS S4; post-Hush. 
   CHARACTERS/SHIP: Willow Rosenberg; Tara Maclay; Willow/Tara (willtara); 
   A/N: There are several references herein, to a Beatles song; to the concluding scene of Ellen DeGeneres' coming out, or 'Puppy' episode; to, via the title, to a movie that I had not, at that time seen; referenced by Xander in "Something Blue" (worth mentioning that over the holidays ~ either christmas, or easter, following first 'publication' I actually got to see that film), and the last line is unashamedly stolen from the very first Lesbian film I ever saw Lianna. 
   I recently posted a prequel to this http://kerkevik-2014.livejournal.com/52259.html to fill a prompt at femslash100. 

 
     Willow stirred from her slumber just as false dawn was creeping into the room. She opened her eyes carefully, not quite fully aware of where she was until her nudity hit her.

   She was naked! In Tara's bed!

   The sudden enormity of her situation made her giggle, albeit quietly. 

   "Wow!" She gasped, hushing herself instantly. 

   And it had been wow! 

   They'd been intimate before, they'd been (half) naked before, but it had been nothing more than high-class, chocolate-frosted, necking. 

   Last night had been an entirely different matter. 

   Low-class, chocolate honey-filled, high-caffeine... lust-lovin'. 

   Wow! 

   She glanced over at the sleeping face of her lover... 

   Her lover. Tara was her lover. 

   Trying not to laugh out loud Willow wondered if she was now an official lesbian, if Tara would now get an official Ellen, 'I've turned a straight girl' toaster. She giggled once more. Then she smirked as she noticed the tiniest hint of drool on Tara's cheek. If she wasn't frightened of waking her up, Willow would have kissed it away. 

   Wow. 

   Then she stroked some hair away from Tara's face and dared to kiss her anyway. Ever so slightly, ever so carefully, ever so daintily, on the forehead. She closed her eyes and breathed in the still sweaty scent of her lover. 

   Her lover. Tara was her lover. 

   Wow. 

   It was a fact now. No going back. 

   She snorted as she fought back a laugh. Hell, she wanted to shout. To cry out. She was too happy. She contented herself with another gentle kiss, this time, on her lover's cheek. 

   She held her breath as Tara stirred slightly. 

   For several minutes then, she took in the sight of Tara breathing, in, out, deep in sleep. Oh god, but she was beautiful. 

   Her lover. Tara was her lover. 

   She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah... 

   She was drunk. She wanted to tell the world. She felt like dancing, and singing. 

   Instead she contented herself with continuing to watch Tara sleeping. For over half an hour she simply watched her breathng, occasionally gifting herself the slightest of kisses. On the cheek, on the forehead, once, daringly, on the lips. 

   She even stroked Tara's shoulder at one point. 

   Finally she felt forced to action. She could no longer keep her hands off her lover. 

   Her lover, she repeated yet again. 

   "Tara Maclay is my lover," she whispered, breaking into a grin wider than the Grand Canyon. 

   Was it possible to be too happy? 

   Nuh-uh! 

   She felt compelled to laugh, to cry, to shout, to scream. She couldn't even begin to decide which. And she knew she couldn't bear to disturb the peaceful sleep Tara was enjoying. 

   She wondered if Tara was dreaming about her. 

   Carefully Willow disengaged herself from the bedclothes, and clambered reluctantly free of Tara. She picked up a discarded t-shirt and grasped her overnight bathroom bag. One last look at Tara's peaceful features and she opened the door and slowly wandered down the hall to the showers. 

   There, despite the early hour, she showered. Slowly, langorously, she ran her fingers over her body, touched her lips, brushed her nipples, stroked her belly, teased herself (hissing at just how ready she was) between the legs... 

   Everywhere Tara had touched her the night before. 

   She stepped dripping from the shower and went to stand in front of the mirror. She placed a finger on her tongue, tasting it. Just to se if it felt any different. She finally let out the long-suppressed laughter. 

   It tasted like it had recently showered. 

   She was almost disappointed. 

   She stared at the face she she saw in the mirror for several minutes, studying the inanely stupid grinning face of a woman she could hardly recognise. 

   Yet seemed to know for the first time. 

   She seemed to be glowing. Was she glowing? She laughed again. Of course she was glowing! She was fresh from the shower. 

   Fresh from her lover. Her lover Tara Maclay. 

   She repeated it out loud and laughed as she wiped wet hair from her face. 

   The she stared defiantly at the face in the mirror and declared... 

   "Willow Rosenberg eats pussy!" 

    FINIS 

---
http://kerkevik.livejournal.com/1791.html 
http://mysticmuse.net/authors/rayharley/danceofthehappylittletoaster.htm 
http://nha.magical-worlds.us/viewstory.php?sid=3435 
http://www.ralst.com/DanceHappyLittleToaster.HTM 
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hush_(Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer) 
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season4.php#ep066 

4x1066Hush
	Production Code: 4ABB10 Written By:     Joss Whedon Directed By:     Joss Whedon	USA, The WB Tue, 14 Dec 1999 Trailer   (5.46MB) Summary Transcript Shooting Script

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seeing_Red_(Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer) 
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season6.php#ep119 

6x19119Seeing Red
	Production Code: 6ABB19 Written By:     Steven DeKnight Directed By:     Michael Gershman	USA, UPN Tue, 07 May 2002 Trailer   (3.80MB) Summary Transcript Shooting Script

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lianna 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085838/fullcredits/ 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHw7L6Hn4jk (still on You Tube with Spanish subs) 

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  Goddess watch over us all, 
  
  Kerk TehKek